The Art (??) of Smiling
Smiling...it is how you show the world you are happy, that you love all facets of your life: career, friends, family, relationship, extracurriculars, and any other part of who you are.
I smile, and I smile a lot--some would say I am one of the happiest and positive people they know, and I think, for the most part, this is an accurate statement.
Please know though that smiles are often masks that are used to hide a sadness, a weakness, a crushing event. Smiles can be used to fool a world that bases so much off of superficial assumptions. Smiles help people to avoid hard topics. Smiles help people to not inconvenience others.
The hard part is that when you are known as a generally happy person, people do not know what to do when one's guard is dropped and other (true) emotions shine through.
I am a firm believer that one does not need a large circle of friends, but rather a select few who will always reach out and know what to do and what to say. Yes, one's mom, as in my case is always there, no questions asked through smiles, tears, yelling, depression, etc. but sometimes one needs a friend or significant other. What happens when, even at 36, one is is not sure she even has that small trustworthy group...I know...she SMILES. She hides her true thoughts and feeling. She breaks down when alone...when a song comes on, when running, when watching FRIENDS or movies.
What does all this mean? Am I trying to say I am not happy---NO, NOT AT ALL--for there is so much good in life, and to help me keep that in perspective I have again started to keep a gratitude journal.
But please, when you think someone has life figured out and is always happy, take a minute to look into the eyes, deep into them, before you make the assumption she has no problems or harbors no worries, for in her heart, deep in her soul there is probably so much that generally happy person wants to share--and in that sharing, she yearns not to be judged or have others' opinions changed. She just wants to be reassured and given the same friendship she doles out to those she (thinks) she has in her life.
Sometimes my smile makes me feel so strong and unstoppable, but other times I feel like it makes me more vulnerable in this (often cruel) world. That paradox, just as the case with all paradoxes, makes life interesting. I know some people will come into my life and accept and embrace both the strength and vulnerability in my smile. I know some will be willing to look into my heart and soul ad truly know or want to learn what makes me tick, I am just not sure I have found all of those important people yet, but I am being patient, because patience leads to good, no, GREAT things.
Others will only accept EITHER strength OR weakness and not be willing to realize and embrace the positives and negatives, the goods and the bads, the highs and the lows, all make me who I am.
I am me--in strengths and in weaknesses. Yes, when you see me, I will likely be smiling, but I challenge you, the select few who may really care...don't be afraid to get to know the WHOLE and COMPLEX Allison..for it in those complexities and acceptance of them that I am who I am and can obtain true happiness.
I smile, and I smile a lot--some would say I am one of the happiest and positive people they know, and I think, for the most part, this is an accurate statement.
Please know though that smiles are often masks that are used to hide a sadness, a weakness, a crushing event. Smiles can be used to fool a world that bases so much off of superficial assumptions. Smiles help people to avoid hard topics. Smiles help people to not inconvenience others.
The hard part is that when you are known as a generally happy person, people do not know what to do when one's guard is dropped and other (true) emotions shine through.
I am a firm believer that one does not need a large circle of friends, but rather a select few who will always reach out and know what to do and what to say. Yes, one's mom, as in my case is always there, no questions asked through smiles, tears, yelling, depression, etc. but sometimes one needs a friend or significant other. What happens when, even at 36, one is is not sure she even has that small trustworthy group...I know...she SMILES. She hides her true thoughts and feeling. She breaks down when alone...when a song comes on, when running, when watching FRIENDS or movies.
What does all this mean? Am I trying to say I am not happy---NO, NOT AT ALL--for there is so much good in life, and to help me keep that in perspective I have again started to keep a gratitude journal.
But please, when you think someone has life figured out and is always happy, take a minute to look into the eyes, deep into them, before you make the assumption she has no problems or harbors no worries, for in her heart, deep in her soul there is probably so much that generally happy person wants to share--and in that sharing, she yearns not to be judged or have others' opinions changed. She just wants to be reassured and given the same friendship she doles out to those she (thinks) she has in her life.
Sometimes my smile makes me feel so strong and unstoppable, but other times I feel like it makes me more vulnerable in this (often cruel) world. That paradox, just as the case with all paradoxes, makes life interesting. I know some people will come into my life and accept and embrace both the strength and vulnerability in my smile. I know some will be willing to look into my heart and soul ad truly know or want to learn what makes me tick, I am just not sure I have found all of those important people yet, but I am being patient, because patience leads to good, no, GREAT things.
Others will only accept EITHER strength OR weakness and not be willing to realize and embrace the positives and negatives, the goods and the bads, the highs and the lows, all make me who I am.
I am me--in strengths and in weaknesses. Yes, when you see me, I will likely be smiling, but I challenge you, the select few who may really care...don't be afraid to get to know the WHOLE and COMPLEX Allison..for it in those complexities and acceptance of them that I am who I am and can obtain true happiness.
I do this. All the time. It's definitely a catch-22.
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