(Why) Being Nice Sucks
DISCLAIMER: I wrote this on July 17, 2017.
I never pushed publish for some reason...until today!
Enjoy #cheers
I am a nice person.
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I will do anything for anyone.
I keep my walls up, however, until I learn to trust, for I have been hurt many times in 36 years.
Once those walls come down, it can be a beautiful, all be it, scary experience, because in doing so you leave yourself and your heart and your mind vulnerable, susceptible to that pain you swore you never wanted to deal with again.
But let's be honest, if we all kept our walls up all the time, we could potentially miss the best thing to ever happen to us, and unfortunately, in letting those walls down, we will be exposed to perhaps re-living some times we never wanted to repeat. But we should focus on the good...the immeasurably good...the good you have been waiting for...the good you deserve, and don't let things or people stand in your way to that good.
Life is a cycle.
Friendship is a cycle.
Love is a cycle.
You have to be willing to be 110% you, speaking your heart and mind. That means crying over a song, a silence, a movie, a situation beyond your control. It means (sometimes) questioning everything about what makes awesome you, you and everything you thought you knew and understood.
In being nice/you; however, you are bound to be hurt. Why? Because perhaps you give up more than most are willing to give to fight for what is right/true. Because people will buy into the not true people over you. Why? I don't know the answer to that; I just know that is often how it works. People will use you until they are done with you and move on to someone/something else, leaving you to question just about everything. People often take nice people's feelings for granted because they are nice and because they bend over backwards for others. It is easy to take advantage of these types of people, people like me, perhaps people like you, too.
In being a nice/true/YOU person, you speak your mind, in hopes people can return that same candid manner, but that is often not how it works. You are left to guess, to speculate. And that guessing and speculating, whether dealing with friendship/family/love is enough to break a heart.
Every person should be more sincere in his or her feelings. If you hate me...fine...tell me...If you dislike me...fine...tell me. If you think I am ugly/fat/whatever else...fine...tell me.
But here is the thing...if you like me...tell me. If you want to be my friend and be there for me how I will undoubtedly be there for you...tell me. People forget to say the good...the good (for some reason) is easy to overlook.
Guessing is for the birds.
Wear your you on your sleeve.
...and don't worry, even though being nice often seems to have more negative outcomes for the beholder of nice...I will continue to be me...which means being nice (even if it is to a fault and even if being nice (sometimes) sucks) because the world needs more nice people.
I never pushed publish for some reason...until today!
Enjoy #cheers
I am a nice person.
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I will do anything for anyone.
I keep my walls up, however, until I learn to trust, for I have been hurt many times in 36 years.
Once those walls come down, it can be a beautiful, all be it, scary experience, because in doing so you leave yourself and your heart and your mind vulnerable, susceptible to that pain you swore you never wanted to deal with again.
But let's be honest, if we all kept our walls up all the time, we could potentially miss the best thing to ever happen to us, and unfortunately, in letting those walls down, we will be exposed to perhaps re-living some times we never wanted to repeat. But we should focus on the good...the immeasurably good...the good you have been waiting for...the good you deserve, and don't let things or people stand in your way to that good.
Life is a cycle.
Friendship is a cycle.
Love is a cycle.
You have to be willing to be 110% you, speaking your heart and mind. That means crying over a song, a silence, a movie, a situation beyond your control. It means (sometimes) questioning everything about what makes awesome you, you and everything you thought you knew and understood.
In being nice/you; however, you are bound to be hurt. Why? Because perhaps you give up more than most are willing to give to fight for what is right/true. Because people will buy into the not true people over you. Why? I don't know the answer to that; I just know that is often how it works. People will use you until they are done with you and move on to someone/something else, leaving you to question just about everything. People often take nice people's feelings for granted because they are nice and because they bend over backwards for others. It is easy to take advantage of these types of people, people like me, perhaps people like you, too.
In being a nice/true/YOU person, you speak your mind, in hopes people can return that same candid manner, but that is often not how it works. You are left to guess, to speculate. And that guessing and speculating, whether dealing with friendship/family/love is enough to break a heart.
Every person should be more sincere in his or her feelings. If you hate me...fine...tell me...If you dislike me...fine...tell me. If you think I am ugly/fat/whatever else...fine...tell me.
But here is the thing...if you like me...tell me. If you want to be my friend and be there for me how I will undoubtedly be there for you...tell me. People forget to say the good...the good (for some reason) is easy to overlook.
Guessing is for the birds.
Wear your you on your sleeve.
...and don't worry, even though being nice often seems to have more negative outcomes for the beholder of nice...I will continue to be me...which means being nice (even if it is to a fault and even if being nice (sometimes) sucks) because the world needs more nice people.
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